Do you have a list of Non-Negotiables?


11 down and 10 more to go in my part of the world. The pandemic has re-aligned our lives completely and there has been a paradigm shift ever since. Hope & pray that you’re safe and healthy!

For all the new folks, thank you for checking in. My name is Rishiraj Kapur Aka Fitdad Aesthetics. Aside from my day job, I am a Health and Fitness blogger and a certified strength coach. Fitness is my domain and I qualify as an advocate; however, lifestyle education is something I learn every day and it is ever so evolving. Today, I want to talk about one such relationship/experience which has had a profound impact on me. I recently got acquainted with a rather intriguing gentleman. A person who is humble, honest and unconventional.  A leader who leads without a title. He comes across as an average Joe or an Aam Aadmi in our language, however, has a unique perspective of looking at the world. if I may put it this way-He reads, and he knows shit. He follows the basic principle of reflective equilibrium. For those who want to know more about Reflective equilibrium, read here

You see, there are various ways of learning in this world. You can enroll in an institution and get certified. You could read from various textbooks, scriptures, files etc. and expand your knowledge. But there is one thing in life which is by far the greatest teacher of all and that is your experiences. No matter how good or bad they are, you always learn something from them as you go through your cycle of life. Ain’t no teacher like life itself. So, my limited yet meaningful interactions with Joe (we’ll call him that as I want to keep it anonymous) has had a profound impact on my perspective. He gave me this one strategy which has helped me realign and re-define my goals for a successful journey ahead. It’s called “The list of non-negotiables”

No matter what we do in life, there is always a purpose. And this purpose must conform with your value system. Allow me to illustrate with one of Marcus Aurelius’ s quotes “We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season. So, what we do, whether professional or personal has to conform with a set of guidelines aligned with the universe. Yes, your organization will have a set of rules in line with the nature of business, however, the basic guidelines or work ethic will never change. Example, performing your task with utmost sincerity, honesty & diligence. As an employee or employer, you certainly must have virtues like organizational & leadership skills, ambition etc. and in order to be able to give your best you deserve the best as well. Which gets me to my point. You must have a list of “non-negotiables”. This list must not be compromised ladies and gents. Unless there is an apocalypse coming, you must stick to these Non-Negotiables. Now, this doesn’t mean, you demand an extravagant office from your employer or a prenuptial agreement where you’re allowed one night out with your ex-girlfriend. I mean a list of non-negotiables which help you build a value system in conformity with your objective as a professional, a parent, a husband, a son/daughter, a citizen etc. Below is my list and this has taken some serious thinking…………

  1. You must always have a price tag on yourself-This is meant in a good way. Don’t be demanding, however, assess yourself as an individual and always keep a value. Never be afraid of putting forth the same in a relationship, whether professional or personal. It helps to build trust and clarity and sets the expectation right.
  2. Your fears are your demons and no one else should trip (take advantage off) on them- In literal sense, besides your spouse, parents and close folks, no one else should know what you fear most. When you show the world you’re vulnerable, you are giving them an opportunity to form a perception resulting from a subconscious display rather than a conscious display. You must control what you fear and keep it within you. The world must know you as the guy who’s cool as a breeze and gives a few important f***s only (in reference to the book “The subtle art of not giving a f**k by Mark Manson. If you haven’t read it yet, you must)
  3. Don’t ever compromise in life. Never ever– Whether it’s professional or personal, never compromise. That doesn’t mean you become rigid when it comes to handling that difficult client or don’t honor an unexpected request from your boss. What I mean is, never compromise on your value system for short term gains. If a certain thing is meant be done in a certain fashion, so be it. You go along with your task in conformity with your principles and guidelines and the universe will take care of the rest. If something goes wrong due to a broken or weak link in the chain, don’t be afraid. Enable them and guide them to do the right thing and the result will one hundred percent be desirable. It might not be an instant thing, but I guarantee it will see the light of day.

This is my list and does not have to be yours necessarily. However, we all must build a list of non-negotiables to define the road ahead. Joe and I have come a long way and he happens to be my council, my mentor I can seek advice from and also a good friend.

Keep doing what you do and remember, life is too short to be average!

We lift, there’re we are!







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